Dan vs Hercule
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: It's a battle of the bozos, clash of the cowards, skirmish of the stupid and pugilism of the pathetic. But let's find out who is more pathetic.


A handful of DBZ fighters (namely, Goku, Vegeta and Hercule) heard of and joined the World Fighters tournament. The first round was Hercule vs. Dan Hibiki. Hercule laughed upon seeing his opponent step up to fight.

"Oh, pink fighting gi, VERY manly!" He said sarcastically, laughing loudly.

"How dare you! It's time for the Saikyo arts to bring you down!" Dan replied, doing a bunch of dumb-ass, fake-manly poses.

"Hey, Vegeta, I bet that the guy in the pink is gonna win." Goku said.

"If Mr. Satan loses, Kakarot, I'll owe you dinner at a buffet." Vegeta said, unable to believe the stupidity from the man in pink.

"Really?!" Goku asked, now hoping Hercule would fall on the first hit.

From the other side of the battle, two women stood side by side, waiting for the battle to start.

"What do you think, Cammy?" Chun-Li asked.

"I'm betting 500 quid on the man with the afro." Cammy said.

"That's a pretty high bet, isn't it Cammy? Well, I'm willing to bet 50 bucks." Chun-Li said, reluctant to bet too much.

"Okay, I've got a tournament to win, let's get this over with." Hercule said, getting into a fighting stance.

"Only I'm gonna get to win this tournament. I hope you're ready for a beating!" Dan said, then got ready to fight.

**Background music: Kung-fu fighting by Cee Lo**

Dan wheeled his arms around and got launched a small, pathetic green fireball. "Gadoken!" He announced as it went flying.

Just as Hercule was about to turn and run, the fireball phased out just after getting beyond the distance of Dan's hands. He then burst out laughing. "Is that all you got? My daughter can do better than that!" He laughed, crossing his arms (or so he thinks. In actuality, Videl's only energy attack is a physical attack: energy charged into one hand). He then disappeared in a manner similar to Goku's instant transmission, then appeared a few steps in front of where he just were, looking as if he was sailing across the ground towards Dan (yes, Hercule has done the super-fast disappearing thing. If you use YouTube, watch Mr. Satan gets shot and evil buu appears). He then kicked Dan in the stomach and threw a large volley of kicks at his face, then threw a fast combo at his faced and one very strong punch to knock him down.

"So, you think you're tough, huh? I've got a few tricks left, too." Dan said, getting up, then jumping and doing what looked like two separate round kicks in the air, but Hercule had jumped back actually unnecessarily far as once Dan reached where he had just stood, he completely failed and fell straight on his back.

"Ha! What a riot! I bet even Spopovich could beat you!" Hercule laughed, doing a bunch of various taunts.

"Okay, that does it! GADOKEN!" He said, launching his ultimate Gadoken attack that I really don't care what the name of it is, blasting himself back, screaming like a bitch, while Hercule looked wide-eyed and ran away out of the blast range. He then turned to see that Dan was on the ground from his own attack.

"Ahahahahahahaha! What an amateur! Can't handle his own attack! Well, it's time for my ultimate attack!" He laughed sailing forward and slamming his fist into Dan's face just as he was getting up, not only knocking him out, but sending him out of the fight boundaries.

"Oh yeah! Once again, Mr. Satan wins it all!" Hercule laughed, throwing a peace sign.

**End music**

"Yes! Well, then, Kakarot, I hope you have plenty of money saved up. Watching this fight has built up quite an appetite!" Vegeta laughed, taunting the shocked Goku.

"Well, then, Chun, do you have that 50 on you?" Cammy asked smugly as Chun-Li got the money.

Then when the second round of the tournament commenced, Hercule got his ass handed to him by Sakura.

Reasons for the outcome:

1: While Mr. Satan is one of the weakest people in DBZ, he is not THE weakest, whereas Dan is EASILY the single weakest street fighter in the history of the series. Half of his moves are complete screw-ups.

2: Dan is never canonically shown to win a single fight, whereas Hercule can win fights and not to mention NONE of the Street Fighters could handle the threats the Z fighters have or survive most of the hits most of them (Hercule included) have taken.

3: I know it's a game mechanic, but Street Fighter has never been a series big on combos, it's just single hits: light attacks, heavy attacks, super moves and ultra moves. The only game there were combos in was Street Fighter X Tekken and that's only A: to switch out and B: because Tekken is a franchise with many combos, so there had to be some combos in SF X T. DBZ however, is mostly about combos in close-range fighting, so Hercule has been seen to throw lightning fast, incredibly long combos, whereas Dan, I'd be impressed if he could ever do a 2 hit combo.

4: While Dan has the advantage of energy attacks, they completely suck and Hercule has run away from countless attacks similar to that before.


End file.
